Well, yeah... I am seriously thinking about going back to get my PhD now. Wow. That took less than six months (and less than two months on the job) for me to realize that working isn't that much fun. It's funny because when I finished in May, I was all like, "I'm never going back to school. It's no fun and almost everyone in academia is disassociated from the world of real people." You know, real people? The people who have never even heard about the Junius manuscript, and even if they did hear about it, they wouldn't care at all. I think this is at least 99.98% of the world's population, but I haven't done the math.
I still believe that last part- the part about academics being disassociated from the real world. I'm just excited about it now instead of disheartened. David had a good insight yesterday about our different motivations for wanting a PhD. He said that I want to be an academic (aka- someone who has the degree, the job, and can spout off some smart stuff) but I don't want to get involved with expert research and specialized study. He, on the other hand, wants to get involved with the research and specialized study, but he doesn't necessarily want the associations that go along with being an academic. (It sounded better and I'm sure made more sense when he said it)
It's true that we have used the term "academic" as a dirty word in our household before, but that's because many professors seem zeroed in on just one aspect of life and it gets under our skin. But on Wednesday and Thursday I got to talk to some professors and former classmates who are really cool and don't seem disconnected at all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've found out that I can be an academic and a real person at the same time. I can tell people about the Augustinian influences in Donne's poems and still mistake Rowan Williams for Rowan Atkinson all in the same day.
So I'm going to check out UC's comparative lit. department next week and I'll go from there.
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19 comments:
I really don't want to be an academic, but I do like learning and teaching, so it seems like the natural job for me.
Part of me wants very strongly to be associated with a practical occupation--like bridge-building--and for this reason I am really attracted to the idea of being a civil engineer or architect, although I don't think I would like the actual work so well.
The trouble is that I have absolutely no romantic associations with academics. I could imagine that as a classicist I am preserving the roots of Western civilization from the forgetfulness of time, but I have a hard time convincing myself. I wonder, "Does knowing that Agricola held the praetorship at the age of 28 (68 AD) because of the Lex Papia Pappaea, which stated that for each child up to three the office could be taken one year earlier, and he was able to take advantage of the benefit even though one child died around the time the second was born--does knowning that preserve something that helps us?
I guess so. But honestly it just seems like another bit of empty information, and although bits of information can be synthesized and become grand interesting theories that may or may not be true, the work that is spent in uncovering these details and then continuing to remember them is exhausting even to think about, and I wonder what's so valuable about what I'm doing or even what the profession is doing. Why am I learning all of these things except that I happen to like to? It all seems so self-serving, and indeed it would be nothing but leisure activity if not for the fact that at some point we do become teachers, and then we can offer something to our students--while in the meantime our petty little articles and books, our "real" work, collect dust on the shelves of libraries already weighted with the forgotten volumes of yesterday's scholars. I often feel despair when walking through an academic library, overcome by the vanity of so much scholarship that sits untouched, except perhaps to be thumbed through for an hour in the hopes of a minor footnote on page 24.
And in fact, the award ceremony, which made Monica want to go back to school, reminded me of one of the worst aspects of academic life, and that is the constant self-congratulation over bits of nothing. Does any other occupation praise itself so often? Or criticize itself so often, for that matter? One slip-up and you're made to look a fool, only five minutes after being propped up by so many generalities.
All of which being said, if I were in Monica's position I would probably want to go back to school, too.
I don't know about going back to school. Maybe you just need to be a mommy.
Then you can be a hero of great proportions and you don't even have to know about the Junius whatchamacallit.
I thought that was coming. I just didn't know who from. I mean after all, I am a conservative Christian married for over a year and not practicing modern forms of birth control. Where's my baby? And if you had asked me that two or three years ago, I would have been wondering the same question. Trust me, I feel like many people I know think I've passed my "reasonable time to be married and not have children."
Perhaps I shouldn't go back and get my PhD right this instant. It's just a thought. But I would like to get it eventually- even if it's after I've had kids.
There's no reason you couldn't get your Ph.D. and have kids at the same time. People do that sort of thing all the time.
I really didn't mean to imply that it was past time for you to be having babies. NFP seems to be working for you guys, and I think that's great. Honestly, I was more thinking of my own once lofty academic ambitions tossed aside in favor of domestic pursuits.
I too want to go back to school, but this time I want to go to seminary! Not to get anything that will help with a job, but to learn stuff that I an interested in. Of course I am trying to figure out a man who would want to marry a poor girl that is over $100,000 in debt due to school loans. I would have to find him BEFORE I can quit my day job and go to the seminary...
But that is all on a totally different level.
Maybe you could save up the money to go to seminary before attending, and then you wouldn't have to worry about the debt. You'd have to wait a while, but it would be much cheaper in the long run and you wouldn't have to worry about the husband issue.
Not to mention, it's a whole heck of a lot more fun to save up for something than it is to pay off a bank long afterwards.
LOL the $100,000 is the total listed on the bottom of my current student loan amounts! You know after the interest. Before interest it is like $54,000 or something. :( So it is a matter of trying to get that paid off, of course in 30 years after that is paid off, well then I would have to be married, or give up the idea of getting married for the purpose of having children... LOL
Anyway, Monica I do wish you the best of luck. I would ALWAYS recomend going back and taking more classes. I love the idea of more information. (and real life is not all it is cracked up to be...)
Obviously, I am in favor of continuing schooling. I had to postpone several times, but I did get there(or almost there depending on your view of PTA vs PT). I suspect shaelin is hoping for some cousins for her brood. And the Nana in me is always ready for more.
Seriously, I don't see why kids and school couldn't work. In fact, it seems that if we were both students we would actually have more time to be home than if we worked.
And one of us staying at home wouldn't be an option right now. I just can't make enough.
If that seemed a non sequitur, remember that I consider either of us going to school a source of income.
are you crazy? come finish my undergrad for me and i will work for you, okay?
Monica, there is something about your blog that makes people want to comment and come back and comment some more. It doesn't seem to matter what your topic is...I think people like you!! :o)
Anne,
Love - more like.
Crap. I better comment before Monica thinks I don't love her. I do. Dave too, although I don't comment enough on his blog. I should go do that... first I really should get my coffee. I can't think.
M.
DON'T DO IT!!! PHD'S ARE A FORM OF TORTURE DEVISED BY THE DEVIL!
Just kidding. I shouldn't project my bitterness onto other people. Bad grad student.
Besides, who knows...once I've graduated and my dissertation is a couple years behind me, I may blissfully forget the misery and decide I need yet more education...
Actually going back to school is kind of like bearing children that way. Isn't there some bible passage about how as soon as the child is born, the woman forgets the pain of childbirth? Though I have it on good authority, from someone who has done both, that childbirth is WAY less painful than writing a dissertation.
Yes, I have noticed that many of my posts get comments on a second wind. I enjoy that. It must be because people love me even more than I deserve.
I have a new development in my Phd goals. David and I have decided that I should work for one more year to clear a large amount of our (i.e. my) debt out of the way. After that we can look in to doctoral programs, babies, and other fun stuff.
I actually can't wait to start my dissertaion. It's these darn compulsory classes that are getting me down.
Maybe I'll change my mind when dissertation time comes.
You two are great and will do wonderfully with whatever you decide to do!
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