Big Mo'

So, the world has its newest candy bar. It happens to be the brainchild of Dale Earnhardt, Jr., a NASCAR driver, and Palmer, the world's grossest chocolate, so this is quality from word one.

What's better is that the name of the candy bar, which comes in peanut butter or caramel filled chocolate, is named Big Mo'. This name conjures all kinds of images. Is it named after a hulking, dimwitted bouncer? Nope. Jr. says it commemorates the "Big Mo"ment when he first started driving cars around in a circle professionally. Because, you know, when you are the son of a NASCAR deity, it's really hard to get your big break. My brother suggested that, considering the language used by NASCAR drivers, it might really stand for Big MoFo. And I'm sure the forces behind this candy bar don't mind that connotation.

But let me suggest another meaning. One day I was hanging out with my friends Kristin and Brett. Kristin kept calling me Mo that day as a nickname. Finally, Brett said that she might want to stop calling me that. Well, we of course asked why, and here's what he told us. Those in the gay community, to which he belongs, refer to each other as 'Mo or Big 'Mo as a shortened version of homosexual.

So, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. may have just inadvertently endorsed the first gay candy bar ever. Well, let's say the gayest candy bar ever. I'm pretty sure Bonkers, Big Daddy, Gobstoppers, Good & Fruity, Jolly Ranchers, Mike & Ike, NutRageous, Oh Henry, Pixie Stix, and Three Musketeers, were all gay forerunners to the Big Mo'.

It's just funny because I can't think of a more good ol' boy institution than NASCAR. You'd think they would have appointed a Czar of Straightness to make sure nothing like this got past. Of course, I thought the same thing when everyone started calling Jeff Gordon the Rainbow Warrior.