So I watched the Preakness Stakes a couple of weeks ago with the Schafers and friends. I was skeptical about watching because I'm still on the fence about horses. Yeah, after 26 years I still haven't made up my mind about them. My friend Kristin would discontinue our friendship if she heard me say that. She's horse crazy. Anyway, horses are odd animals. On one hand, they are these huge, strong, majestic animals who were worth as much or more than humans in the days before cars. On the other hand, they are skittish, inbred, prone to all sorts of disease, and need to be shot if they break their ankle. Weird.
A couple of minutes before the Preakness started, I leaned over and asked Theresa Mills what she would name her racehorse, you know, if she had the extra millions of dollars required to buy one. I love racehorse names because they are always off the wall and usually a couple of words long. And they never have to make sense. Well, I forget what she said because I'm selfish and self-centered, but (surprise, surprise) I do remember what I said. I told her I would name my horse Whirling Dervish. And here it is a couple of weeks later and I still love that name. Whirling Dervish. But then I started thinking about more racehorse names, and before I knew it, I had come up with a handful of new names that would be perfect for any thoroughbred racehorse. So here they are in no particular order-
1. Fortinbras Smith
2. Class Action Lawsuit
3. Oedipus at Colonus
4. Pass the Gravy
5. Grendel's Mom
6. Measles, Mumps, and Rubella (all one name)
7. Undocumented Worker
8. The Check's in the Mail
9. Gallipoli
10. Cleveland Shuffle (My Aunt Barb taught me what this one means over the weekend)
11. Roscommon Row (like a fight, not the motion required to move a boat)
12. Sokrates Johnson (a nod to Bill and Ted)
13. How's About That?
14. Dreadnought
15. Smog in the Noggin (admittedly lifted from the new Indiana Jones movie)
There they are. I think I got the right combination of literary figures, city and region names, war imagery, common sayings, alliteration, and off the wall stuff. Whirling Dervish is still my favorite, but Class Action Lawsuit is a close second. So, what would you name your racehorse(s)? Leave a comment and let me know.
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11 comments:
I presently am a fan of Roscommon Row and Dreadnought. How about we add Samson Agonistes and Chimney Sweeper Marmelade?
Oh.. I love both Samson Agonistes and Chimney Sweeper Marmalade. Good job.
All I can come up with is Three Bad Babies... do you think that's an indication of my life right now?
M.
P.s. Along the lines of Class Action Lawsuit- there was a horse in the Derby 2-3 years back with the name Closing Argument. Noah bet on him.....
SO-CRATES JOHNSON!!! Monica, you made my day with the Bill and Ted reference!!! How about Ervin the Kid? Or Bob Genghis Khan? yay!!!
And... Abraham Lincoln
Moroccan Hummus?
or maybe
Kerfuffle
Love both. And, if I'm not mistaken, Moroccan Hummus recalls the great Morocco debate of Christmas 2007. Ah... I never thought I would want to know so badly the chief exports or the total area of an African country.
I've been telling David that we need to get up to Ft. Wayne to visit you and your parents. If John is around when we come, perhaps we could schedule a debate about Sri Lanka
I lament that I wasn't the first to think of the name I posted about here. (at the end of the too-long post)
Mike: Your post was the first thing I thought of when I read this delightful list of Monica's, but I couldn't remember the name. Thanks for the link.
Mo, you forgot:
Corky St. Clair
I also recommend:
Mr. Midshipman Hornblower
and
Lil' Alger's Pumpkin Patch
-Jocelyn
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