Well, finals week is coming soon and this will probably be my last post for a week or two. I want to talk today about the qualities that would make one a good spy, or conversely, a good bad guy. This is inspired by the new James Bond flick, Casino Royale. It is one of my favorite Bond movies of all time and certainly better than anything that smarmy Pierce Brosnan did. The chase scene at the beginning of this movie was particularly cool. With that being said, I present to you Monica's Intrigue and Espionage Quiz: Casino Royale style.
How do you know if you would make a good spy? There are several questions one must ask themselves when considering a career in espionage. For example-
Do you have a chiseled face and even more chiseled abs?
Do you find that people want to have sex with you wherever you go?
Have you ever been in multiple car chases and or crashes in the same day?
Have you ever had to difibrillate yourself because some stone cold fox poisoned your martini?
Have you ever engaged in a fist fight, gun battle, or swordplay with a Russian? Did you win?
Are you good at poker?
Have you saved more than three structures from blowing up? Alternately, have you blown up more than three structures?
Do you have a totally, totally, totally, awesome car? Does it have weapons attached to it?
If you answered "yes" to 4 of these questions, you might make a good spy. If you answered "yes" to 6 or more of these questions, you are probably already a spy.
Now let's see if you would make a good bad guy-
Are you French?
Do you fund international terrorists (those who buy Heinz products excluded)?
Do you have an eye problem? Problems can include excessive tearing, a patch, astigmatism, etc.
Are you good at math?
Even though you are kind of ugly, do you have an extremely hot wife who stays out all hours of the night?
Do you go by your last name even though your last name is really hard to pronounce?
Do you leave the only gun you own in the top drawer of your desk even though you know people are constantly trying to kill you?
Is it true that all your friends and family really know about your job is that you "help people do things"?
Has anyone ever put a tracking device in your asthma inhaler?
If you answered "yes" to 4 of these questions, you might be a bad guy. If you answered "yes" to six or more of these questions, you are definitely a bad guy.
I hope this little quiz had helped you sort out your place in life.
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5 comments:
I need some clarification. I have a totally, totally, totally awesome minivan. Does this count in the for or against column? Also, Bob wants to have sex with me all the time. (which is why I end up perpetually pregnant- see Anne's blog comment section) Does this count? Also, I consider myself a stone cold "fox" because our charting method doesn't allow me and Bob to have sex- ever. Does this count? Also, is this too much information for a comments page (Bob would probably think so)? Will it get pulled by the Blogger Administrator like one on your last blog? I am totally a spy.
M.
Sigh... I'm a villain. At least I get a hot wife.
The problem with the villian's hot wife (at least from a Bond perspective) is that they are always getting seduced by the spies with the totally, totally, totally awesome cars. You might want to put a tracking device on Monica's inhaler.... wait, does she have an inhaler?
M.
I can't blame her if she runs off, since I would totally be willing to let another villain chop her arm off if it meant I'd be off the hook for a little longer.
Uh-oh, I officially might be a villain!
Thanks for starting the list with "Are you French?" -- that gave me a point right off.
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