Shirley Homemaker... or whatever her name is

It is now my blogging style to look at neat little quizzes, tests, and series of questions from other people's blogs and then copy off of these people and put the same little tests on my own blog. It has no originality whatsoever. The following was inspired by, okay directly lifted from, Anne's blog. It's about what type of homemaker you are,or more likely how good you at being one. Prepare to be amazed!

Aprons- Y/N?
Yes, I do think they are restrictive and probably a modern form of a torture device invented by men to keep their wives in place. I assume that's what a question like "Aprons?" means. Right?

Baking- Favorite things to bake:
Um...Alaska. Yeah... baked Alaska

Clothesline-Y/N?
Not anymore... but when I was younger I used to do it to my brother all the time. My mom would always yell at me and tell me I was going to crush my brother's windpipe.

Donuts- Have you ever made them?
Yes, I actually have. When I was an undergraduate I used to frequent this coffee shop that was open 24/7, and it had a bunch of stoners who worked the late shifts. I befriended these people and at three or four in the morning they would let me and my friends come behind the counter to make the donuts that they would sell the next morning. It was good times!

Every day- One homemaking thing you do every day.
Well, like an AA member trying not to drink, I just try to take homemaking one day at a time. My daily homemaking task is to turn to comforter on the bed the right way before I go to sleep so my feet don't stick out in the middle of the night. This little task annoys David to no end. He can sleep with the blanket facing any direction.

Freezer- Do you have a separate deep freeze?
No, and our regular freezer is basically filled with "Lean Gourmet" frozen dinners.

Garbage Disposal- Y/N?
We don't have one but that really doesn't stop David and me from treating the sink like we do have one. I think that's what this question means. If it's asking if we take out the garbage, then yes, we do. And by "we" I mean David.

Handbook- What is your favorite homemaking resource?
Hmmm... I own so many homemaking handbooks that it's really hard to decide.

Ironing- Love it or hate it?
Well, I don't own an iron and I don't think you could call what I do with an iron actual "ironing." For me it's more like "wrinkle relocation." I always get rid of the wrinkles that were there initially but not without putting new ones elsewhere on the garment.

Junk Drawer- Y/N? Where is it?
Yes, usually it's the living room. The entire living room.

Kitchen: Design and Decorating-
I've tried to go with the bottles of alcohol and penguin cookie jar theme. I think I've pulled it off really well.

Love- what is your favorite part of homemaking?
The part where I clean the apartment and the next day it looks just as bad as it did the day before. It's like letting a ray of light into my heart.

Mop- Y/N?
I seriously thought at first that this question was asking if I owned one. I felt pretty good because I do. But then I realized that it was probably asking if I liked it or how often I do it. Considering that I've been using the mop bucket as a target to chip golf balls into the past couple of weeks, I would say that I don't mop very regularly according to normal standards.

Nylons- wash by hand or in the washing machine?
You can wash nylons?

Oven- Do you use the window or open the door to check?
Check what? Oh right, all the baked Alaska I've been baking. I'll go with door because I have no window light, but It's a really scary prospect. When David was at Wabash he had this homicidal oven that would not light when it was supposed to. It would just fill up with gas and then when he went to open the door the flame would light and massive fire balls would shoot out. It was like scenes from "Backdraft." So I'll probably always be worried about that until we live in a place with a new-ish oven.

Pizza- what do you put on yours?
Better question: "Pizza- what does this have to do with homemaking?" Well, I don't make any pizza because David is allergic to wheat and if I made a pizza for myself and he was around, it is very likely that he would have to go on antidepressants. When I go out with friends for pizza, I like pepperoni, onion, and mushroom.

Quiet- what do you do during the day to get a quiet moment-
I reflect on my inner goddess while facing toward Chicago, where Oprah lives.

Recipe box- Y/N?
I did own one once because I found that the plastic ones are a great place to keep my Latin vocab flash cards.

Style of House-
Um.. for what I currently live in? Think of Brideshead and then imagine the exact opposite.

Tablecloths and napkins- Y/N.
I won't touch any linens that have under a 300 thread count.

Under the sink- organized or toxic wasteland?
It's fine I think.

Vacuum- How many times per week?
I actually like to vacuum. The vacuum I have now is an old one that my mom gave to my brother and then my brother gave it to me. When Anthony gave it to me he said "I'm not sure if there's a bag in there." That was last summer and I've been too afraid to look. My aunt on the other hand owns one of those Dyson vacuums, which are like the Mercedes of vacuums. She told me how much it costs, and all I'm going to say is that it cost about as much as we payed for our truck.

Wash- how many loads of laundry do you do per week?
I'd say two loads every two weeks. We don't have a washing machine, so I go over to my parents on Saturdays when David is at work and do the laundry then.


X's- Do you keep a daily list of things to do that you cross off?
Yeah.. it usually looks something like this:
Wake up- check
Don't forget to teach Latin- check
Learn about something boring in my classes- check
Try not to vomit on the bus ride home- check mostly
Read or ignore excessive amounts of reading for my classes- check

Yard- Y/N. Who does what?
We don't have a yard, but we do have a little patch of grass outside our apartment. I usually chip golf balls out there (see mop question for further details) and David usually stays out of the "yard". The Godby's crazy maintenance man, Chris, does the mowing.

Zzz's- What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?
Trying to straighten that aforementioned blanket so my feet aren't exposed to the cold.

Well, that was fun and pretty much true. I actually will be interested to see how my answers change in 5 years. Probably it will be mostly the same except for replacing the "classes routine" with the "yelling at the kids routine."